For those that are not involved in the retail world, there will be a short week to enjoy and lots of family & friends. There be catching up on how the year has treated everyone and how work life has been.
Looking back I think this is the best (and typically only) time to talk about sensitive family matters. All the family is in one place to give opinions and throw in their votes. The past few years it has revolved around my grandparents and their care. Within the past three year, my family has gone from letting them stay in their condo, to an assisted living home (I call it a Dorm for seniors as it reminds me of a college dorm) to a nursing home for my grandmother. A lot changes every year, but one thing always stays the same: family time during the holidays to hash it out.
Here’s how it would typically go:
Aunt 1: I think Mema & Papa need to go someone where they can be looked after.
Mom: I don’t think they need that yet, they seem fine and I can’t imagine Papa giving up his independence.
Aunt 2: Well I don’t know, I’ve noticed x,y,z…
Mom: Why don’t we just ask them?
Everyone is coming from a good honest place and wants to do what’s best for Mema & Papa, but no one really has the answers, including Mema & Papa. No one ever really thought about it before. When is the “right time?” What does that look like for them? How would they want it handled? How can they be helped without losing their independence?
Knowing what I know now about long term care, I really wish SOMEONE in our family would have sought some kind of professional advice. I understand why no one did though and it’s the same reason many still don’t today – Who do you go to for this type of thing? Nursing homes and talk to their agents? How would they have an unbiased opinion? I can tell you right now one person you would NEVER think to ask: your Financial Advisor.
How the HECK can a Financial Advisor help with my parents’ long term care?
A financial advisor (that is properly licensed) is a large piece of the puzzle. The biggest thing MY family fights about at times is money and how to afford taking care of them when they took care of us. Even if it’s not money it can be time which also translates into money. As financial advisors, we can ask the right questions BEFORE it becomes the next family drama scene over turkey dinner. We can ask how they would want it to look so they can keep their independence AND have something to leave for the kids and grand kids. We can get them in touch with the right estate attorney that can draft not only a will, but documents helping guide the kids on what they want as the years go by and they may not be able to take care of themselves.
Here’s my suggestion this Thanksgiving when family & friends start talking about grandma & grandpa and what to do as they get older: tell them to give a Financial Planner a call to see if he/she can help. Arguing between siblings can create unnecessary drama, so nipping that in the bud early will make for a more peaceful family gathering. A Financial Planner can help ask key questions that engage them on what they want it to look like and if they need services the Financial Planner can’t offer she/he should have a wealth of contacts that can help them.
Have you had this conversation in your family yet? If so, what did it look like? Did you seek guidance or are you lost like my family was? Now is the time to take a step in the right direction if you haven’t already done so.
Until next week my wonderful readers!
– Financial Landscaper
